
Killing Time by my friend David Van Gough (2006). I didn’t feel like I was playing chess against Death this year. But I did feel like I was in a battle against depression.
2012 was exactly like a vampire in that it sucked, deeply.
This was a rough one guys and I’m not sorry to see it go. I had to watch my dog, my best friend, deteriorate and say goodbye. I had some devastatingly bleak days, went through some rough stuff with boys I liked for a few minutes, and questioned everything about my existence. I often felt like I was in one of those whack-a-mole games.
I’m so lucky that I had the support and understanding of dark-minded friends or I’m not sure I could have pulled through this one. And this blog is a great outlet and motivation for me to venture out and try new things.
There were some much needed bright spots throughout the year. In January, I was deeply moved watching Wayne Martin Belger create portraits of people with HIV with his unique pinhole camera, Untouchable. Then one of my best friends and favorite artists, David Van Gough, surprised me with a stunning oil portrait of myself and Audrey dog for my birthday. I saw Emilie Autumn’s wildly entertaining Fight Like a Girl show at the El Rey in February. I had a blast at both the Monsterpalooza and Son of Monsterpalooza conventions. I haunted the Hyaena Gallery new live art events called Art Autopsies each month. I reaffirmed that LA is the best place to get away with murder on the Dearly Departed Hollywood tour with my girls Angela and Megan in June. Then at the end of the summer, I celebrated Christopher Ulrich’s birthday with a clan of deviants at the Vampire Lounge. My other Megan and I celebrated Halloween like the world really was ending in December with multiple costume changes, haunts and parties. And I was blown away by Christopher Ulrich’s show, The Reckoning. And I launched the Upon a Midnight Dreary Podcast where I get some thoughts about true crime off my chest and interview a fascinating creative type.
I’ve got to be honest, crushing depression is not conducive with resolution fulfillment. So I was less focused on my goals than I usually am. Here’s how I did with my 2012 resolutions:
10. Have 666 followers on Twitter. Hell yeah I did this! It only took me 17 days to knock this one out of the park.
9. Learn Photoshop, especially techniques to enhance horror. I got Adobe Creative Suites last winter and I have been working on Photoshop. I wouldn’t say I’m an expert, but I’m getting better. I’ve actually been doing more lately with Illustrator.
8. Wear something dead. Perhaps someone’s face like in Silence of the Lambs. But if that doesn’t work out I’ve also been seeing lots of interesting taxidermic jewelry and accessories. I did not get my hands on dead jewelry. I’m a huge fan of Sarina Brewer’s pendants and Lauren Kane’s mouse brooches so maybe this year I’ll get to this one.
7. Become penpals with a serial killer. Okay, this has been a resolution for two straight years. I did get myself a PO box. I have to be honest, my friends and family are extremely discouraging of this idea. I think they think I’m going to fall in love with an incarcerated monster or invite other trouble into my life. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to get to this one at some point. It’s kind of nice to dangle it over everyone’s head as a threat.
6. Meet and get a photo with Rob Zombie or Marilyn Manson. It’s so unfair! The two of them actually toured together on the Twins of Evil tour and for some unknown reason, they didn’t do an LA show. Grumbles! I am going to see Marilyn Manson in February so I may get close enough to make this happen.
5. Do more photo shoots like the ones at St. Louis #1 Cemetery in New Orleans and the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum in West Virginia. I’ve been doing about one a year, in 2012 I’d like to do at least four. Errrr. I did one again. I lurked around the infamous Alcatraz fortress prison.
4. Build an altar at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery Dia de los Muertos festival. Yeah, so I went to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery Dia de los Muertos.
3. Memorize The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe. Not even close…
2. Become as pretty on the outside as I am rotten on the inside. blurgh
1. Create dark and deviant guides to the neighborhoods of Los Angeles to share what I love so much about this city. Okay, this is another one that has been on the list for two straight years. I even shot a lot of photos around Hollywood, and then, did nothing. FAIL
At the end of this post a year ago, I acknowledged that 2011 would be a tough act to follow. And it really was. 2012 bombed. On the bright side, making 2013 better than 2012 should be a breeze!
I want to start 2013 with a fresh, positive attitude. True, my kind of positive involves doom and gloom, but I own it. So in service of a fresh start, I’m going to keep the list at just five focused resolutions.
5. Get 6,660 followers on Twitter. Maybe even 66,600! I’m at 5,060 this morning. I’ve been so much more into Twitter this year. It’s fun to share articles on serial killers, pose thought provoking questions about murder and horror, and keep up with the dark artists I love. And I’m pretty sure that I get the soul of every person who follows me. mwahahaha.
4. Publish a new Podcast every Friday. I love dissecting creative types in a long-format interview.
3. Add to my collection of original art. I’ve been bitten by the art collecting bug, badly. There’s such vitality and power in an original piece of art and I’ve been fortunate enough to acquire some drawings and paintings by David Van Gough, two mixed media pieces by Krystopher Sapp and some illustrations by a handful of other talented artists. Now I want to cover my walls with art from floor to ceiling. But I’m going to go slowly, and I’ll consider it a win if I invest in one new piece of original art that wins my heart this year.
2. Design and sew a lot more dresses and accessories. Okay, this is a little vague. What’s a lot? But I’ve gotten a lot better at sewing over the last year and I love wearing a one of a kind, themed, dress to important occasions. I have so many ideas floating in my head that I want to see fully realized. And I’m learning to use Illustrator to create my own prints.
1. Spend Halloween in New Orleans. Megan and my trip to Mardi Gras in 2011 was easily one of the best trips of my life. This year, we want to recapture some of that magic with a New Orleans Halloween. We’ll miss Halloween in LA, but I’m sure we’ll have more of those in the future.
Thank you so much for visiting this blog and giving me a reason to keep it going even when I feel down. If there is anything you’d like to see more of on this website (or even less of) I would greatly appreciate your feedback. I’m excited to keep sharing my dark experiences with you and strive to produce compelling, original content.
What are your resolutions for the new year and how can I help you achieve them?
See you in HELL 2012!!!



Halloween in New Orleans sounds perfect though how LA will survive without you and Megan I have no idea. Also into the idea of the guides to various neighborhoods- will keep an eye out for that one.
New Orleans is my home town! Nothing compares really. If you are in town for Halloween do try and make the Witches Ball.
Thanks so much for the recommendation Michelle! I haven’t started planning yet but I will have to add the Witches Ball to the list.